Here we go, only a month away, 30 days, it’s crazy. I don’t know if it is just me, but I feel so blessed and so excited about marriage, that God has chosen to display his love to me through providing a woman who would marry me, the chief of sinners, and not just some woman but an amazing woman who the Holy Spirit works through and speaks through, teaching me and building me up.
People keep asking me if I am nervous and I think why would I be nervous, sure this is the second biggest decision I will make in my life, I am vowing and devoting myself to Allison for the next 7-8 decades. I a committing to laying down all of myself for Allison and her life. If you search between those lines the numerous claims on my life in marriage would become evident but with all humility my heart is at a fearful rest. You know how you put the water in the pot and wait what seems like forever for it to start boiling. Sometime in the waiting the bubbles from the bottom of the pot begin floating up preparing the surface for the onslaught to come then once the boiling has started it seems like you can’t control it; it keeps going gaining strength and exploding out the pot. The bubbles have started rising and the evidence is clear that self sacrificing, shame taking, pain carrying, burden bearing is at a higher stake for me now. My heart and flesh want to fight those and protect myself, fearing that I will lose myself. Christ says LOSE YOURSELF, don’t you understand that is what I did, my life was perfect everything complete with being God but I want my bride, she is a beautiful mess and I love her so I am coming, here I am, take me, kill me for their sake, give me their shame, their pain and their burdens. Rest is the only response to a all encompassing love like this.