It is odd being engaged, on one hand you look back to how you met and life before marriage and on the other hand, you look forward to marriage, planning, counseling, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I have loved being engaged. Allison and I have had more freedom to talk about things we wouldn’t have before, there is a natural deeper connection that is special. I think most of all my favorite thing is saying “I love you,” sometimes I make an effort to just say it as many times as possible.
Allison and I have been dating for over two and a half years now. We have grown so close over the years and she is my best friend and I love her. Most importantly she loves Jesus and I love Jesus more than anything. Over the years we have fallen more in love with Jesus and as a result been exposed to the depths of His love for us. One of the most horrifying and humbling thoughts we have is that our sin literally put Jesus on the cross, that my sin literally ripped the flesh out of his back and drove the nails into Jesus’ wrists. Christ’s love for me is amazing. He chose to exchange his purity for my nastiness.
Dating and engagement have been times that exposed our sin more and more. We anticipate that marriage will do this even more. There is sanctification that would not have happened or will not happen if it wasn’t for Allison in my life. One of the things I am so thankful for is that Allison is not impressed with me. Now some of you might be like hold up, she’s not impressed with you, isn’t that a problem? I would say a big no. I need Allison to speak into my life and let me know when I am sinning. I am not perfect but sometimes I think I am, and I try to be in control, through my actions and my words. It is so easy for me to be tough but I struggle to be tender and Allison is great at teaching me. Allison recognizes my sin better than anyone and calls me out for it. Even though seeing and owning my sin is not always pleasant, I am thankful that Allison is willing to be my sister in Christ and desires to help shape me to be more like Christ.
We are on this trajectory towards becoming one, a team, and so my sin affects her and her sin affects me and we just want to continue to build one another up in love and help each other to see the areas of our lives that need to be open to chiseling by God. I love Allison and want to battle sin with her knowing that God loves us and when sin is exposed he is faithful to forgive us. I pray that we would forgive and love like Christ forgives and loves.